i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
