we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
