Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
