She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
