I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
