My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
