He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk walkin through police station. America
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
