Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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