no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
