he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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