Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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