found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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