so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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