That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They have beer where we have blood.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
