How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Farmville is her only friend.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
