I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
