can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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