can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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