i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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