I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
