ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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