Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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