Duck Duck Cougar?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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