I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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