conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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