I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
