Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
