just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
