I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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