the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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