Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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