I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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