did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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