We won't sleep together?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
