Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i need to put some appletini on your dick
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
