from now on my penis is your penis
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
