As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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