If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
