You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
