i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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