they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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