I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
