I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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