break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
