We won't sleep together?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
