His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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