hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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