Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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