I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
