dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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