I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
