im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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