And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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